As I start to move into the next chapter of my life – I find I’m taking stock. It seems for as long as forever, my unconscious life has been predetermined by others expectations… and some would say life is predestined anyway…
Your childhood moulds you with its experience – good – bad – indifferent, which provides opportunity for growth if you’re willing to look with open eyes…
School requires round pegs for round holes and the system then doesn’t need any sandpaper – and I conformed…
Total focus then pours on as you have to decide “What are you going to do for the rest of your life?” with the move into adulthood at the ripe old age of 17, unaware we were shielding our gaze from the glare – but the glare is not necessarily from happy hearts fulfilling their dharma (life purpose) but those masks can be stark.
Then the unrecognized societal pressure to partner up, marry, reproduce (in that order) to sustain the population… all achieved in my 20’s…
When was I actually meant to discover who I was? Who I wanted to be?
Don’t get me wrong – my children are delicious, inspiring, unique individuals who I’m very privileged to call my own, entrusted into my care. I’m aware I was granted the blessed opportunity to treasure & guide them along their paths… and delight in this amazing creation of family – motherhood, the highlight of my life.
And here I am – nearing the back end of this adventure of life thus far – realising and finally seeing clearly – that conscious choice is possible and it’s time to take stock of my life manifesto.
How do I want to experience the second act?
Do I need to conform to the expectations of others – what purpose does this serve?
Did I need to stay in a career for its stability – granted I had enjoyed it for the majority – or do I follow the breadcrumbs and see where this other path leads? I did – I took the door on the left and it opened up into wonderful ways of living my dharma – it’s seen me grow and change and become more Me.
All it took was a leap of faith. And I have been flowing & floating since…
I feel like I’m shifting between hemispheres – and I’m in the transition at the cerebral cortex…
Life until now has been lived more from the left side – logical & calculated… now the right side is starting to express its intuitive & creative ways – and living from a conscious creation can only be good.
I actually aware lately of which hemisphere my thoughts are coming from…
Do I stay here on the treadmill of the life I have actively created till this point – or do I grab that backpack, still in its wrapping – and head out to find me? The me that is yet to be? The me that I can mindfully create with conscious awareness of my stepping stones through this life?
At the cortex crossroads… I’ll share this poem for reflection
Walk and do not hesitate
Procrastinate no more… and walk
Take a stick, a rope, a knife and a knot of hair and walk as if your whole life has been leading you to the beginning of this wallaby track as it bounds off into the scrub.
Head for the mountains… for the river, for the forests.
Tread the debris of today into mulch and let it turn into something better in the soil.
For there are some things that we do thinking at the time that we are enjoying them but later on we realise that they brought us no true lasting pleasure at all so do not stay indoors… do not stay within walls… do not be tempted into inertia by the promise of comfort and warmth, go out into the world.
Smell the earth.
Get your shoes and socks wet.
Take a fog, brave whatever elements. Do not be afraid of cold or mud or blood…
Take a stick, a rope, a knife, and a flask of whiskey and… walk
Walk and do not vacillate.
Walk and do not prevaricate.
Walk and do not think that because you are achieving nothing that you are wasting a part of your life because a river wastes nothing, does it.
Likewise you go with rhythm… with slow eyes… with deep vision… and say “Here is the trail that I want to walk. May it lead me to no where. Only somewhere far away from who I said I would not be.”
(by Bert Spinks – Cradle Mountain Huts Walk & the Bay of Fires Lodge Walk)